


Wicked Ones

by FreshPrinceOfLosSantos



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Atheism, Bisexuality, F/M, Mormonism, Music, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Polyamory, Rebellion, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teenage Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 10:50:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10740195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshPrinceOfLosSantos/pseuds/FreshPrinceOfLosSantos
Summary: It's perfectly normal for teenagers to want to rebel against their parents, that's just science.But the more you shelter your kids, the more likely they are to go off the rails.And there is nothing more satisfying than doing things your parents wouldn't approve of.





	1. Ain't No Sleep When The Wicked Play

My mom threw out several my records today. Guns & Roses, Metallica, Slayer, Motley Crew, Def Leaped, Led Zeppelin. Even some of the tamer stuff like Bon Jovi and The Smiths. Honestly, I should have seen it coming.

My Ramones albums met a gory demise last week. I tried to argue with my other that it was just music, it wasn't bad. In fact, music was one of the most amazing things of all. She wasn't having it.

She insisted rock and roll was bad for the soul. And don't even get her started on anything punk or metal. She'd blow a fuse. I didn't understand why she'd thrown all my stuff away. Quite frankly, it pissed me off. I worked hard all summer to pay for those records.

This wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last time my mother disapproved of something I loved or worse ruined something I loved. I liked a lot of things. I liked a certain style of fashion she found offensive, I liked to wear heavy makeup and wear my hair sort of with colours in it. And worse of all, I liked rock and roll.

My mother and I fought a lot if you can imagine that. We never agreed on anything really. It was usually just my mother and me at home, my father worked late and I am the youngest of four children. My older siblings never 'acted up' like I did. They were all very conservative and very unoriginal people. But that's fine. I'd never judge anyone by who they were or who they were not.

I couldn't say the same for the rest of my family though. I was raised Mormon, I lived breathed and absorbed Christianity, it was every part of my being. I didn't hate it. I though Jesus was a pretty cool guy, and God was the kind of guy I could worship. But I wasn't crazy, not like my parents.

As Christians, they believe some wacky stuff, stuff I don't necessarily believe. They think homosexuality is wrong, any form of it including bisexuality and stuff like that. We are even taught this is Sunday school, even as a kid I didn't understand what was so wrong about a man loving another man or a woman loving another woman. It just happens sometimes. I seemed to be the only person who though this was relatively normal though, that used to make me sad, it still kind of does.

My parents don't believe in blood transfusions, we don't celebrate Christmas and they also think it is appropriate to knock on people doors at 7:00 am on a Saturday morning. That's what my two older brothers do, my older sister is just a housewife, and soon to be mother, which I am excited for.

Not all the people who go to our church believe in the wacky stuff my mom and dad do, but some of them. But it's not just the petty stuff. They also don't like sex. Sex before marriage is a crime, masturbation is a crime, dating before eighteen is a crime, everything seems t a crime when it comes to intimacy,

This bother me, because I do have a lot of serious urges, and have since I was thirteen. I want to kiss boys and touch them and I want to take their pants off and for a long time, I didn't know why. one day an older friend of mine told me it was normal, I decided to accept it and move on with my life. However, I'm almost seventeen and I'm still boy-crazy.

I could talk for years about my crazy, messed up family. But I'll spare you the gritty details. Let's get back to where we were, with my mother throwing all my records away, and me being angry.

"It's just music mom!" I yell at her from across the hallway.

"You'll thank me one day Mariana, trust me I know. I read about this stuff, it poisons your mind!"

"It doesn't mother I promise. There's no evidence to prove that."

"It's not about the evidence Mariana, it's about faith. I have faith that the more you listen to this garbage, the further from God you stray."

"Mother no, I love God. I always have always will. Nothing will change that." My mother was right, sort of. I wasn't as devoted as I once was. When I was eleven, I read the bible every day. I prayed before every meal, even at school and I said ten Hail Mary's before bed every night.

These days I don't think twice before I bite into a California Roll. And I don't read the bible anymore, and ever since I was a freshman I've found no energy to pray before I go to sleep. Sometimes I get home from school and go right to sleep, and sleep through the night.

I wasn't as devoted as my parents probably wanted me to be, but I still went to mass every Sunday and I still prayed with them before Dinner but I had defiantly changed. But I wouldn't blame the music for that. Not even slightly. Despite what anyone said about me, I was still in touch with my faith, and I still believed.

"Marinna, you need to trust me when I say I know what is best for you. You are a smart and beautiful young woman, you don't need any distractions from what is truly important."

I stopped listening to my mother. I wiped the tears from my eyes and headed back into my room. Gosh, she was such a pain. I looked at all the marks on my wall, from where my father had pulled down my band posters with such force it made the paint peel. I hurt badly. I decided to pray. I asked Jesus for strength during this difficult time, and the strength to forgive my mother and father.

Despite my best efforts, I sill went to bed angry. I wanted to educate them. I wanted to tell them how good music made me fell, and how it was beautiful and pure. I wanted to explain that in a world where everyone judged you go everything you did, a record wouldn't. A record wouldn't make fun of you for being different, a record wouldn't make you feel alone. But they didn't get that. They wouldn't.


	2. You Got Me Trippin'

Sunday morning is an important part of my week. It's the day I put on the most expensive full length dress, one that covers my arms to the wrists and the mg legs to my ankles. And paired it with the most expensive pair of shoes. My bother put curlers in my hair as though it was nineteen sixty or something and told me how good I looked.

"Mariana, I know you are angry at me. But I'm just trying to protect you." She was still talking about last night. Last night I went to bed without eating and tried to ignore everyone for the entirely for the night. My father was very upset by this but my mother tried to understand. "I know you think I'm being unreasonable. But I promise you one day will look back on this and thank me."

She always said that about everything she did that made me angry. Quite frankly I'm still waiting for that day to come. I have never looked back on any of the thongs my mother told me I'd thank her for and understood why I should be thankful. I don't get. I don't get any of her.

Once my mother and father, as well as all my siblings, were ready. We left the house. I waited until everyone had piled into the car before I rushed up to my room to get one last thing. I wasn't allowed to have a phone, but I had bought one with some of the money I saved last summer. I got a blackberry and was really pumped to use it. I had to hide to from my mother and father though because they'd be bad if they saw it so I had to be sneaky.

I took the phone out from under my mattress and put it my bra, a place I knew it would be safe. I nestled in between my boobs before rushing back down the stairs, I picked the hem of my dress up so I wouldn't over if. I wish I didn't have to wear this stupid gown every Sunday.

I jumped into the car and sat next to my sister Constance, she was three months pregnant with a baby. Her husband was out of town so he wasn't coming with us which was good because Frank freaks me out. He just has a weird look in his eye. We drove into town towards the church wich stood on the corner of a country road. I lived in Nevada, I was born here and knowing my luck will probably die here too. It's not too bad. I get to meet a lot of people, especially the people who go on vacation to Sin City which isn't too far from where we live. I've never seen too much of the city, given there isn't much for me to do there until I'm twenty-one. But I still like the area.

My father pulled out station waggon up outside the church, ten car park was full so we parked on the street. My family go out of the car, just as I was about to set my foot on the hot Vegas street, I felt my phone vibrate in my chest. 'oh no,' I thought as I clenched the phone to my chest. 'This could be important.' I needed a way to check my phone without my family noticing. I waited for them all to go inside, but that didn't world as well, as I had thought it would.

"Marianna, you need to hurry." My mother wailed from the church doorway.

"I don't feel too good mom, I'm just going to get some air before I go in."

My mother looked at me painfully. "Okay, but hurry please," I promised her I would.

I ran around to the back of the church, I began to pull my phone out of my bra. As I ran, I was unaware of the length of my dress and how it was more than likely going to trip me up while I ran. And sure, enough it did. I tripped on the hem of my dress just outside the car park. My phone went flying out my hands and only the concrete of the car park. I landed face first into the dirt with a thud and I groaned. As I was trying to pull myself up from the ground I heard a voice play in oblivion.

"Oh shit! Are you alright?" I heard a man's voice say, although I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I started to say, only softly. I heard footsteps run towards me, the grass crunched around me. I looked up so see who was there.

To my surprise, I saw the face of a young man, I recognised him slightly. I squinted at him as I tried to place him. "Here, let me help." He said reaching out his hand, I took it and he helped me pull myself up off the ground. As I got to my feet I got another look at him.

I remembered him now, he was in my grade at school, he was a Junior as well. He wasn't in any of my classes and I didn't know his name but I had seen him around. He hangs out with some nice guys and he seemed like a pretty cool dude. He flew under the radar like I did. "Thanks" I tried to say as enthusiastically as I could spite the fact I was covered in grass stains.

"No, it's fine." The guy said smiling. "Are you hurt?" He asked he touched my shoulder very genteelly. I considered his eyes. Oh man, I hadn't noticed how unbelievably attractive he was. I pushed that thought out of my mind though, it was the kind of thought my mother would day was 'dirty' or 'toxic'.

I pushed that thought out of my mind though, it was the kind of thought my mother would day was 'dirty' or 'toxic'

"No, I'm fine, I'm just a little dirty," I said looking down at the stains on my dress. He laughed.

"Here's your phone by the way." He said handing me my blackberry. "I don't know if it still works though." He shrugged. I laughed too and thanked him for getting it for me. I put it down my shirt which surprised him but he didn't make a big deal of it which I appreciated.

"Brendon!" A voice yelled we both turned to where the voice was coming from. "Brendon, we need to get in there before all the seats get taken!" A woman called out as she disappeared into the church. The boy turned back around to me.

"I've got to go," He told me. "Take it easy, alright?" He smiled, I smiled back.

"Alright." I watched as he walked into the church. I stood dumbfounded for a few moments, before eventually realising that I had a mother who I needed to get back to also. I checked my phone before I went in to see what the message I was so eager to see was, turned out to just me chain mail, brilliant.


	3. Hey, I Heard You Were A Wild One

Brendon, Brendon, Brendon. I couldn't stop looking at the back of his head as I sat four rows behind him and his family. My mother was beyond mad too see what had happened to me. I had dirt and grass stains all over my Sunday best, I had a feeling I'd never hear the last of this. I paid no attention in church that morning, I just counted the strands of Brendon's hair upon his head. The dark brown, short hair that covered his head. Perfection, all of him, perfection.

As mass ended, my mother spoke with other members of the congregation, my father stood by her. My sibling mingled as well and I, well I stood awkwardly in the corner. I wanted to fond Brendon, o wanted to look into his eyes again and have him smile at me again but I didn't know how to male that move. Then I heard my mother.

"Marianna! I have been looking for you! We need to have a chat young lady." I looked down at my dress, my mother was now standing in front of me, looking down at me and frowning heavily. I sighed. "Your father and brothers are taking the pastor out to brunch. I'm taking you and Constance home. You are not allowed out of your room for the rest of today, you understand?"

The truth was that I didn't. I didn't understand why I got in trouble for everything, for honest mistakes and things I couldn't avoid. Sure, my knees were bleeding but that didn't matter because I had embarrassed my mother in front of her old lady friends at church. Brilliant.

I frowned as mom marched me out of the church by my ear. My sister followed close behind. She was a wonderful woman, Constance. I knew if mother let her, she would console me and tell me it was okay, but she didn't want my mother to hit her, especially with the baby.

As we marched back to the car, I spotted Brendon in the car park, he was by a car I'm guessing was his, I suppose his parents were not as strict as mine and had let him drive. And we were gathered with a small group of guys who were dressed far more casually, as though they hadn't been at church this morning.

My mother told me once that conversation with an outsider was shameful. So, I wouldn't be allowed to speak with those boys who looked like they had just rolled out of bed. When the four of them stood together they reminded me of The Beatles, this may be because one of them was holding a guitar case, he was cute too. All of Brendon's friends were cute. When I thought about how much they looked like The Beatles, I began to remember the fate of all my music, so I got salty again.

Mom pushed me into the backseat of the car, Constance sat in the front and cradled her pregnant stomachs. My mother turned the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. Mom wasn't the best driver, so her attempts to get the car into another gear failed. I looked out the window again, I looked at Brendon.

He was saying goodbye to his friends, he shook the hands of two guys and hugged the third, the one with the guitar case, the other cute one. They left and went back to theory own cars. I saw the woman who was most likely Brendon's mom come over and get into the passenger side of the car. Brendon got in the driver's seat. I got my mother's attention quick.

"Mom? Do you know that woman there?" I asked pointing to the woman who had gotten in the car next to Brendon. Mom turned around to see who I was pointing at, she sighed.

"Oh yes, Mrs Urie. Moved here from Ohio when you were just a year old, she is a good Christian woman, very kind, very lovely. But I worry about her."

"How come?" I ask.

"She has trouble controlling her kids, the youngest one she lets get away with too much I believe. Brendon used to be such a nice boy, and now well he's into all that garbage I've been trying to shelter you from. The rock and roll, the MTV, the social medias. The stuff that rots your brain."

I zoned out after that, mom knew Brendon, and she knew Brendon's mom. Brendon liked the things I liked, he liked music and television and come to think of it, he probably has a Myspace too. That was what I would be doing tonight when I was locked in my room, grounded because I stained my dress. Looking him up on the internet.

I watched from outside the window as Brendon drove off out of the car park and into the street. By the time he'd disappeared, mom was still trying to get the car to get in gear. She continued to gossip about Brendon's mom until we were all the way home. She parked in the garage and turned off the car. She turned around in her seat and stared at me. "And don't think I'm not still mad at you." She said as she got out of the car. "Put that dress in the laundry basket immediately and don't come out of your room for the rest of the night." I sighed and headed up to my room.

When I got into my room, I closed and barricaded my door. My mother took the locks off my door when I got my own room when I was twelve, she was worried about me doing 'things' in there. I don't know. I peeled off my dress and kicked off my shoes and threw my clothes into the laundry shoot. I got into some more comfortable clothes, like sweatpants and a t-shirt, and certainly any of those weird full lengths underwear my mother makes me wear.

I got under the covers of my bed and took out my phone, I wanted to see if it still works despite me dropping it on the concrete this morning. Sure, enough it does and I silently cheer. I log onto Myspace, I used an alias so my family wouldn't accidently come across my page. I decided to search Brendon up, I wonder if I would find him. And then I wondered why I liked him so much.

B r e n d o n U r i e

I typed into the search engine, I hit enter and waited for the page to load. I began to feel nervous. When it loaded, I noticed the very first thing that popped up was his face. I felt my heart beat faster. He was gorgeous, even in the pictures. I pressed on the profile, I knew it was weird to stalk guys online, or anyone for that matter bit I couldn't help myself.

I heard a blink 182 song play as the page loaded, I muted it so nobody would be able to hear it. I loved blink 182, And by the looks of things Brendon did too. Like a lot. The first thing I saw on his profile was a video of him with that other boy he had been talking to in the church car park, the one no was holding a guitar case. In the video, that guy played an acoustic guitar and Brendon sang. They played a cover of a blink song and as I listed I was kind of entranced. The mid on guitar was good, but Brendon sang like angels were clinging to his vocal chords. Together they did a good rendition of the song. There were other videos on their two, somewhere of all four of them playing together. I guess they really were like The Beatles, of The Beatles just did link 182 covers and posted them on Myspace.

I decided to send Brendon a friend request, what harm could it do? I would probably be able to get a better look at his profile of he accepted, not that I wasn't doing plenty of snooping already. Someone posted a comment on one of the videos.

"You guys are great, I think you should write some of your own stuff"

Brendon had replied saying. "Maybe one day 


	4. Heavy Metal Broke My Heart

Sunday came and went rather quickly. I fell asleep in the afternoon and woke up early the next morning. 5:00 am maybe. I showered and got dressing before trotting downstairs. The six of all lived under one roof, Daniel and Xavier both love in the basement together, Mom and Dad have the downstairs bedroom and Constance and I shared an upstairs bedroom until she went to live with her husband a few years ago, she spends most of the time at the house but she sleeps at his place.

This morning was no accretion because Constance was downstairs sitting at the table alone, it was dark in the kitchen so I switched on one of the lights. As I came closer I noticed she was silently crying. I went and sat next to her. "Connie, what's wrong?" I asked softly.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and sighed heavily. "I'm stuck Mar, I stuck with a man I don't 'over and a baby I'm not ready for. I'm stuck in a life o didn't want." She cried heavily. I rubbed her back.

"You'll be okay," I promised her. She nodded.

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from wishing I had the chance to do something more than sitting still and look pretty for the entirety of my life. It's too late for me Mar, but it's not too late for you." She put my hand on my shoulder. "will you promise me you'll go out there and do something? Be somebody?" she motioned to the door. I nodded.

"I'll try." I smiled, and she smiled back. We ate our breakfast in silence, Constance told me she wanted to drive me to school today,

"Do you mind of you arrive early?" she asked, I shook my head.

"No, that's fine."

"You won't be bored, will you?" Istook my head again.

We got in the car at around water past seven. I sat up front next to my sister. We drove for a while, and as soon as we were out of the neighbourhoods we pulled to the side of the road.

"What's wrong?" I asked, surprised to see us on the side pf the road. Constance sighed and reached into the back seat. She got her handbag and pulled it into her lap. She opened it up and withdrew a large plastic bag. She passed it to me.

"Tell no one." She sighed as I began to open the bag. My eyes widened as I saw all my records, all of them. "Some of the covers are a big slimy because they were in the trash but I checked and none of them is scratched or broke. I couldn't save your posters though."

I just looked at her for a moment, lost for words. "Thank you, Connie. Thank you so much!" I jumped at her, trying not to hit her stomachs and she laughed for a second, but she went back to being sad again after that. "Why did you do this for me, besides the fact that you love me." We giggled.

"I was like you once, Marie. I liked all the stuff you like. But that get me into trouble. I feared not doing what mom and dad said, that's how I got stuck in a marriage at eighteen and a baby at twenty-two. I wish I had of said no once." She started the car again, we drove on for a bit, my school was in the city so it was a twenty-five-minute drive.

"You regret not rebelling?" I asked after a while.

"Fuck yeah!" she scoffed, which started me a bit. Four letter words were very bad in our household. "I wish I had done ALL the things mom and dad told me not too. I wish I hadn't given a fuck." I watched as we pulled onto the street my school was on. "I'm not doing this to try and get you in trouble Mar, I'm just telling you that of there is something you win the world you can't take no for an answer. And if you don't, you'll wish you hadn't."

We pulled up at the school. Constance looked at me. "I bought you something too." She said reaching back into her handbag, she pulled out a CD. Take This to Your Grave by a band called Fall Out Boy was the name of the records. "I heard some of their songs on the radio and thought you would like them." She said.

I put the CD into my bag and thanked Constance before getting out of the car. I waved goodbye before I watched her drive off into the distance. I sighed before spinning on my heels and walking into school. It'd be accurate to say that I didn't have any friends, so I just walked to the library and sat down in the corner. I pulled out my phone and plugged in my headphones and turned on my music.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew I was listening to the sound of a familiar voice asking if I was awake. I rubbed my eyes and opened them. I saw a pair of thin legs in black skinny jeans. I followed the legs up to the face. I felt my heart stop when I noticed who it was. I took my headphones out of my ears.

Brendon stood before me smirking, he had a friend of his standing behind him, I think it was one of the guys from the car park I had seen yesterday morning. "Pardon?" I said stupidly.

The other guy laughed. "I didn't know you went here." Brendon smiled. "We met at church yesterday, I don't know if you remember me."

I tried my best not to scream: YES, I DO REMEMBER YOU BRENDON!

"I'm Brendon by the way," He said holding out his hand. I shook it. "And this is Dallon." The other boy held out his hand and I shook his too.

"Nice to meet you," I said softly. The two of them sat down next to me on the ground.

"What are you listening to?" Dallon asked.

I turned on my phone and looked at the screen, I shrugged. "Green Day," I said softly.

"Oh, thank God." He replied. "I was worried you'd have a bad taste in music." He laughed, Brendon did too.

"Yeah, we wouldn't be able to hang out with you if it wasn't good." They laughed again.

"Alright man, I got to get going," Dallon said stumbling to his feet. "Y'all have fun now." He said in an exaggerated southern accent. Brendon and I waved goodbye to him. When Dallon had left, Brendon turned back around to me.

"So, I'm guessing your phone still works?" He laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it does." Oh man, I was awkward.

"You fell pretty hard yesterday."

I blushed slightly. "Don't remind me," I muttered. "My mom was pissed."

"Oh, I imagine. You're Amelia Jacobson's daughter, right?"

"Yeah," I said surprised he knew my mom.

"Man, no offence but she's a nutcase."

I laughed hard. "I know."

"Like, do you have any fun or is that banned too?"

I laughed harder and harder. I wiped the sweat from my brow. "Oh man." I gasped after I'd finished. "Yeah, I suppose it is. I'm not allowed to listen to any music that isn't gospel."

I saw Brendon's jaw drop. "No!" He said. I nodded. Brendon frowned and exhaled deeply. "That's absolute bullshit, and I thought my mom was strict." We laughed together. "What's your name by the way."

"Marianna," I said shyly.

"Oh, like Marianna's Trench?" he asked.

"Yeah, because I'm full of secrets," I smirked, Brendon, laughed.

"I like it." He said. "I also must somewhere. I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, I guess," I blushed. Brendon got up off the ground n and headed out of the library but not before waving goodbye to me, I waved back. When he had left, I started to roll around on the ground giggling uncontrollably. Oh man, I was crunching HARD.


End file.
